


wait for me to come home

by honeywaves



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Heavy Angst, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Romance, other characters are simply mentioned or briefly appeared, yeonjun and beomgyu are soloists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeywaves/pseuds/honeywaves
Summary: Beomgyu made a promise three years ago that no matter what happens, he'll never leave Yeonjun. But as Yeonjun grows more and more distant and their relationship starts to stretch itself thin, Beomgyu finds himself struggling to keep that promise.(Or, Yeonjun and Beomgyu are rising stars, madly in love with each other. That is, until a scandal threatens to break them apart.)
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 89





	wait for me to come home

**Author's Note:**

> i'm gonna admit but i cried while writing this so that means that this fic caused a turmoil of emotions inside of me. but it's basically my fault for setting myself up for angst so *haha*.
> 
> anyway, this is dedicated to lou! i used her [prompt](https://twitter.com/beomjvn/status/1241012161494876162) for this one (but don't click it, unless you want a spoiler).
> 
> please ignore any errors and i hope you enjoy reading!

Beomgyu.

_2:00 A.M._

The silence is achingly familiar, settling deep in Beomgyu's bones as he curls up on the couch. He presses his knees against his chest, dark eyes peeking through the strands as he mindlessly takes note of the time hanging on the clock.

How long has it been since he last held Yeonjun in his arms? He feels the ache dive in deep through his ribcage, rendering him breathless as he tries to dismiss the thoughts lingering in his mind. He misses his boyfriend so much these past weeks but he can't demand too much, not when they have conflicting schedules. Yeonjun is constantly exhausted and Beomgyu can't demand anything, not when he knows how Yeonjun is feeling these days.

They went through this before, back when they first started dating. Beomgyu had expected it already since Yeonjun is a rising star, everyone's eyes are fixated on him to watch his every move. He needed to push himself to his limits so he can prove himself to everyone — that means that the distance between them would stretch for as long as his promotions will last.

But Yeonjun always found time for them. Whether it's a quick text to check up on him to visiting him late at night with the sweetest smile written across his lips. Beomgyu always finds his way back into his arms, the warmth radiating from his body that sends him in a euphoric state as he buries his face against the crook of his neck.

Yeonjun never forgets to reassure him, kissing him until the breath leaves their lungs and the feeling of his lips lingering against his own for days to pass. He always loves the way Yeonjun would hold him when they can't see each other for days — hands all over his body and his lips reaching to kiss every exposed part to him. It makes his heart skip a beat as they lose themselves in each other's touches and sweet kisses, words of promises that they'll get through this together.

It never took that long before Yeonjun's fans noticed their interactions — they were always a little too friendly and flirty, with Yeonjun unable to hide his favoritism for his number one fan. How can anyone not notice? Beomgyu already made a name for himself in the music industry as well, winning everyone's hearts with a flirty smile and a strong stage presence. No one can miss the way they would smile at each other, especially when they would promote together at times. They've pieced together their interactions and finally came to the conclusion that Beomgyu is his boyfriend.

Time was all it took before they were eventually accepted and supported by both of their fans. Their relationship was the talk of the music industry, cracking open the hidden relationships beneath all the secretive glances and smiles that idols usually give to each other. Even when they barely had any support at first, they were there for each other, supporting and loving each other without an end to it.

South Korea's It Couple — a title that fixated itself on them because of how genuine and romantic they were. All the smallest moments they are willing to show on camera were nothing behind the scenes; Yeonjun is much more protective and he's awfully sweeter to him, in a way that Beomgyu's heart would never fail to ram itself against his ribcage.

Two years later — what happened to them now?

Yeonjun barely texts him or even calls him up during his schedules. He knows that he's busy, unable to catch a breath to calm himself at times. Beomgyu has always been supportive towards him, attending every concert and fanmeeting to show his love and interest for his boyfriend. But even then, Yeonjun doesn't have enough time for him, unknowingly growing more and more distant as time passes by.

He doesn't remember the last time they've held each other without any worry left. The ache of seeing him again and kissing him until they're both breathless grows stronger every time he feels Yeonjun fall asleep next to him so late at night and wake up earlier than him.

Are they falling out of love?

As that thought passes through his head, the familiar click of the door echoes through the apartment. Beomgyu stiffens up as he steals a glance at the intruder, watching as the door slowly falls open as Yeonjun steps inside.

It's only now that he's seen him properly for weeks. Yeonjun looks so exhausted, dark eyes already on the verge of closing as he trudges inside the already dark apartment. The way he carries himself appears like he has so much troubles and worries laying themselves upon his shoulders. Beomgyu is worried that his boyfriend might collapse just one day because of how tired he looks.

He can see the way Yeonjun's eyes drift over to the couch, narrowing slightly to see better in the dark before he reaches to flick the switch to turn on the lights. They stare at each other for a long moment, not knowing what to say anymore. How can they be strangers living under the same roof, when months ago, they couldn't spend a day without falling asleep in each other's arms?

"Hey," Yeonjun's voice sounds slightly hoarse and questioning as he puts away his bag, approaching the couch hesitatingly. "Why are you still awake?"

"I was waiting for you." He can see it — the guilt that flickers in Yeonjun's eyes for a moment before it completely dissipates though his gaze towards him has softened. Yeonjun settles right beside him and out of instinct, Beomgyu reaches out to wrap his arms around him.

Their heartbeats have calmed down as Beomgyu slides his arms around his figure, burying his face against his chest whilst Yeonjun wraps an arm around his shoulder to keep him close. It's been too long — why does everything feel different?

He can't feel the same warmth that they used to share. He can't feel the way his heart races whenever they're together. He can't feel the urge of reaching out to kiss him senselessly and feel every inch of his body melt against his as they hold each other.

The thought of losing their grip on what they have leaves Beomgyu in tears. He buries his face further into his chest, desperate to feel that spark that he's been searching deep within his body. The same spark that he always feels whenever Yeonjun is near to him, like tonight.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

"Let's go to bed." Beomgyu slightly flinches at how exhausted Yeonjun sounds, the disinterest that flickers very briefly through his expression. He erases any other negativity inside of him, nodding his head silently as they make their way to their bedroom.

Yeonjun is the first one to fall asleep, drifting off all too easily. Beomgyu lays beside him, staring at the handsome features belonging to his boyfriend, remembering the nights when he used to thank the universe that someone like Yeonjun loves him just as much as he does.

Where did they end up?

Beomgyu takes a deep breath, fingers gently running along the curve of the other male's cheek before a saddened smile graces his features. He leans in, gently pressing a kiss on his forehead before he turns his back on him, eyes falling shut.

He has long since forgotten what it's like to be held close by Yeonjun.

* * *

Yeonjun. 

"Can't I go home yet?" Yeonjun spares a glance at the nearby clock hanging, seeing the way the hands direct themselves to show that it's already past ten in the evening. His body aches and he wants nothing more than to fall asleep in the bed that he shares with his boyfriend.

He hasn't seen his boyfriend properly for weeks. Though he's constantly busy until late at night, there isn't a day when he doesn't think about Beomgyu. He misses him so much — the way they would hold each other so close and kissing until they run out of breath. Their third anniversary is coming up and Yeonjun still has to figure out what he can do for them. But considering how they've been far apart for so long, Beomgyu would be more happy if they went away for a vacation, just the two of them.

With a deep sigh, he pulls himself to his feet, eyes widening when his manager comes close.

"Hey, Yeonjun. Your seniors are asking if you want to hang out at the club with them tonight."

Yeonjun really wanted to deny it — his body is aching too much. But he barely spends time with his seniors; isn't this the perfect time to form a relationship with them? Maybe they can teach him a thing or two or offer advice with handling his conflicted schedules with Beomgyu.

"Sure, I'll head to the club, hyung."

With a deep sigh, Yeonjun takes out his phone, a frown adorning his features as he scrolls through his messages with Beomgyu. The last one is their good morning texts to each other but they sound forced, like a habit that they could not get rid of. He's already typing up the words, _I'll be home late, I love you_ until he halts and deletes the text.

He won't be out too late, anyway.

/

The music blasting through the speakers makes him flinch. He awkwardly follows his seniors to their secluded booth, a sigh of relief falling from his lips as they offer him a spot to sit on. The cushion felt uncomfortable but he didn't speak a word about it. He wants to show that he can join his seniors and rise up to their expectations of him, maybe even surpass them. His body is still aching but he wants to loosen up — since when did he last loosen up, anyway? The stress has been building up inside of him for too long already.

"Hey, you should grab a drink, Yeonjun! Come on!"

Taehyung, one of his seniors, passes him a shot of soju. Yeonjun hurriedly bows his head, turning it away as he drinks the alcohol, feeling the familiar burn run down his throat. He loses himself in between the laughter and the alcohol running through his veins, his thoughts about texting Beomgyu has long since been discarded into nothingness. The shots pass through and after the fourth one, Yeonjun can feel the exhaustion settle deep within his body.

"I'll get more, hold on." Yeonjun stands, swaying a little as his vision blurs. He can hear Jungkook asking him if he's all right but he hurriedly reassures him, choosing to make his way out of the booth so he can trace his steps to the bar.

He can feel the stares on him, either wondering if he really is Yeonjun or someone who looks like him. He doesn't entertain anyone, keeping his eyes downcast until he finds his way to the bar, flagging down the bartender to grab two more bottles of soju. His throat has gone dry, forcing himself to swallow thickly, the urge to drink more alcohol burns up within his chest.

"Yeonjun?"

Through his hazy vision, he barely recognizes the girl in front of him, smiling ever so brightly like how she always does whenever they collide into each other. He blinks rapidly, swaying slightly but he manages to stand upright, eyes fixated on her with a small smile gracing his lips. No need to be hostile — they've already interacted before, anyway.

"Yeji?"

"Hey!" To his surprise, she hurriedly steps in to wrap her arms around his frame. He stiffens for a moment before he eventually relaxes, returning the friendly embrace with a light laugh falling from his lips. Gently, he pats her back before he pulls back, her eyes bright underneath the neon lights hanging over their heads.

"I didn't know that you go here."

"Oh no," Yeonjun waves a hand, a fond smile on his lips as he grabs hold of the bottles to show them off to the girl. He gestures to his seniors still lounging in their booth, tilting his head in their direction. "They invited me out and I wanted to get to know them better."

"Ah, I'm jealous. I wish I could hang out with you and them," Yeji sulks before a smile curves across her tiers, eyes crinkling in happiness. She points to her friends waiting at another table before she reaches behind him to grab a bottle of soju as well, raising it so Yeonjun can catch sight of it. "But it's girls' night out for me. Maybe next time we can hang out?"

"Sure, I'd like that." Yeonjun always knew that Yeji is just a friendly girl and she knows her boundaries, especially since Yeonjun has a boyfriend. They bid farewell to each other before the blue haired boy makes his way back to his seniors' table, putting down the bottles of soju on top. His vision has slowly cleared up as he settles right beside Taehyung whilst the others opened up the bottles to pour the alcohol into the shot glasses.

But he didn't let himself go completely loose, knowing that he has a tightly packed schedule tomorrow. They all understood it when Yeonjun politely declined, offering to take him home for the night. But he turns it down, knowing that this is one of the rare nights of freedom for them — he doesn't want to bother them too much.

With that, he walks his way to their shared apartment, quietly thanking the stars that it's only a few minutes away. Every step that he takes feels heavy as he stares straight ahead, eyes droopy as he slowly makes his way to the entrance of their apartment building. It's silent, seeing that it's already a few minutes past two in the morning and Yeonjun figures that Beomgyu had gone to bed at this point. He steps inside the elevator, a sigh falling from his lips as he hits the twenty first floor, his back resting against the metallic wall as the numbers slowly go upwards.

The younger boy didn't text him so Yeonjun didn't bother updating him about tonight's events. Maybe he'll talk about it tomorrow, when they have an early breakfast before they go on their separate ways for their own schedules.

He does miss those little things — waking up early with him and cooking up some breakfast. He's not that great in cooking but Beomgyu always lit up in happiness whenever he sees the food set out. He misses the way they'll get to come back home early so they can share a peaceful dinner and hold each other close until they fall asleep.

He misses them — he misses doing everything and nothing with Beomgyu.

Maybe he should set up that surprise vacation soon. Where will Beomgyu want to go? He did say that he misses his parents so perhaps, he can surprise him with a vacation in Daegu, like they did during the first year they dated.

The sound of the elevators opening brings him out of his trail of thoughts. Shaking his head, he makes his way out and right into their apartment, punching in their code before the door unlocks by itself.

He steps right inside, running his fingers through his blue strands in exhaustion. But as he lingers by the doorway, he spins on his heel, eyes narrowing at the figure sitting on the couch. He reaches out to flick on the switch as the lights turn on over their heads, a soft glow that catches sight of Beomgyu sitting by the couch.

He's still awake?

"Hey," Yeonjun speaks, voice sounding hoarse because of the alcohol that he drank as he puts away his bag, approaching the couch in reluctant steps, "Why are you still awake?"

"I was waiting for you." There's a lingering feeling of guilt that resides in his chest as soon as he heard his words. _Fuck, I should have texted him._ He takes a shaky breath as he steps forward, closing the remaining distance between their bodies until he finds himself settling on the couch.

As if out of habit, Beomgyu reaches out, arms winding around his figure as he buries his face against his chest. Yeonjun slides his arm around his shoulder to keep him close, their heartbeats calming down and falling in sync. He holds back a sigh, a tug at his heartstrings at the realization at how much he truly missed Beomgyu.

It's been so long since Yeonjun has taken a hard, long look at him. Beomgyu feels smaller, more fragile — it's as if the past weeks, he lost weight. He can feel him snuggling even more in the embrace, face buried against his chest as Beomgyu releases a muffled shaky sigh. A frown adorns his features, the worry tugging somewhere deep within his ribcage as he lets his fingers slip through his strands, his voice coming out a little exhausted.

"Let's go to bed."

He didn't mean to sound like he's too tired but with the alcohol running through his system and the exhaustion hanging from his bones, his tone comes out like that. He can feel Beomgyu stiffen for a quick second before he nods his head as they pull away, making their way to their shared bedroom.

Yeonjun changes into a more comfortable outfit, donning a loose shirt and sweatpants. It'll only take a few moments before Yeonjun collapses so he makes himself comfortable on the bed, eyes already heavy with sleep. He drifts in and out, staring at the way Beomgyu settles right beside him, leaning in to kiss his forehead before he turns his back on him.

The last thing that he thinks of is the sight of Beomgyu lighting up in happiness once he books their vacation to Daegu.

Beomgyu being happy is all that he needs to push more, only a little bit more.

* * *

Beomgyu.

"Thank you," His words come out light as his bright eyes fixate themselves on his make-up artist. She nods her head in acknowledgment, a smile written across his features as she finishes up his eye make-up for the photoshoot. Once she's finally done, Beomgyu flashes a wide smile at her, thanking her once more before she drifts away to tend to something else as the dark haired boy checks his reflection on the mirror.

He's in a good mood today, which is a surprise. Maybe it's because when he woke up this morning, Yeonjun surprised him with breakfast, like how he used to do. Though the eggs are a little burnt, he didn't mind — not when Yeonjun put it so much effort to cook for him, when he's got a packed schedule today.

"How about we go on a date this week? I've got a surprise that I know you'll love."

Beomgyu holds onto his words, his heart beating so fast in his chest with a dreamy smile curved across his lips. It's as if the past weeks didn't happen; Yeonjun is back to his sweet, romantic self as he steals more kisses from Beomgyu too many times than they could ever count before he left for his own schedule. He wants them to stay in bed for today, kiss each other senselessly whilst holding each other so close until their bodies melt into one, like how they used to do.

But they're too busy and they understand enough that they need to put their careers first for now.

As the photoshoot drags on for the day, an unsettling feeling wraps itself around Beomgyu, making him wonder why he's feeling like this. It almost feels like there's something terrible that will happen soon. All day, the emotion never leaves him at all, always pressing down on his shoulders.

It takes everything in him to still curve his lips into a smile and greet his own fans, not wanting to make anyone worried about him. He's constantly breathless at the amount of love and support that he still receives from everyone, the wide smiles of excited fans as he greets them is something that he wants to hold close to his heart. But his favorite smile will always linger on Yeonjun, knowing that it's only him who can ever make his heart pound relentlessly beneath his ribcage.

The day passes by in a blur; Beomgyu tries to shrug off the unsettling feeling still dwelling in his bones. He never wants to think about it, knowing that it might be nothing. Everything is already going so well for him and Yeonjun, why does he need to entertain his thoughts?

Night has long since fallen and Beomgyu is already on his way home, eyes heavy with sleep as he stares at the car window, the streetlights passing by in a blur. Yeonjun had texted him thirty minutes ago — _I'll be home late again tonight, I love you_ — the same way that he always does before. They always say those three words but Beomgyu's heart never ceased in beating so fast whenever Yeonjun says them, his familiar sweet tone wrapping around every syllable that spills from his lips.

He takes a deep breath, hands unknowingly starting to twicth as his leg bounces restlessly. Why is he still feeling anxious? Why can't he get rid of the lingering worry and doubts in his bones? His apartment building comes into view and Beomgyu quietly thanks his manager and the driver before he slips out of the car. The cold air bites down onto his skin as he hurries over to their apartment, the feeling of uneasiness trailing after him with every step he takes.

Even as he steps into the elevator, he feels slightly suffocated, forcing himself to calm down as he takes a deep breath. He can't dwell on his anxiety right now, not when he's already physically tired from the schedule he had today. The familiar tone of the elevator doors sliding open allows him to elicit a sigh of relief as he walks as fast as he could to his apartment.

But before he could punch in the code for their door, a sharp tone from his phone catches his attention. He pauses for a moment, taking his phone out and to his surprise, messages come pouring in, all too fast that his head spins.

_Beomgyu, whatever you do, don't open the articles, okay? I'll talk to Yeonjun's manager about this._

_What articles?_ Beomgyu can feel the corners of his lips curve into a frown, not quite digesting what his own manager had warned him to do. He mindlessly pulls up the newest article on Naver, eyes flickering from every word written at the huge headline at the front page.

 _No._ It feels like a strong punch to his stomach, the breath getting stolen from his lungs. His hands start trembling, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes as he repeatedly reads the multiple headlines that kept on popping up on his screen. He can't breathe, his stomach twisting and turning as his vision blurs.

**[BREAKING] Rising Star Choi Yeonjun is Cheating?**

**[BREAKING] Dispatch Reveals Photos of Choi Yeonjun and ITZY's Yeji Together in a Club**

_No, no. This isn't real._ Beomgyu scrolls through the pictures and his stomach drops at the sight of them. Yeonjun is wearing the same clothes that he wore yesterday, his smile as bright as ever as he wraps his arms around Yeji. They look like they went out for a drink and now that Beomgyu thinks about it, he did notice the smell of alcohol on Yeonjun but he never tried to pick up on it.

They seem close, smiles always lingering on their lips as they gaze back at each other. Beomgyu wanted to cry, to throw his phone and break down right now — is this the reason why Yeonjun was so distant from him these past weeks, even months? Was he so guilty that he cheated on Beomgyu that he's trying to make up for it by suddenly being sweet all over again?

 _Only a week away from our third anniversary._ Beomgyu harshly wipes away the tears from his eyes, his face hardening in blinded anger and hate towards his boyfriend. _How can he be so shameless?_

He needs to leave — he doesn't want to collide with Yeonjun and hear any pathetic excuses from his lips.

_I'm sorry, I was drunk._

_I promise I'll never do it again._

_Can't we move past this?_

He can already imagine how messy their break up would be. Yeonjun never backs down until he gets what he wants. He's so, so stubborn and it caused too many fights between them before because they don't want to give up on their side of the argument. He can only think about how Yeonjun would react, doing everything to stop him from leaving.

That's why he needs to act now.

With hurried steps, he punches the code to their apartment, the familiar click of their door unlocking sends an ache in his chest that he does not want to dwell on. He steps inside, slamming the door shut as he walks fast to their shared bedroom, angrily opening closets and drawers to throw his things inside his suitcase. His hands won't stop shaking and he's sobbing — the pain tugs harshly on his heartstrings as his entire body trembles, not knowing what to do as he leans against his suitcase.

His phone won't stop ringing but he doesn't care who's on the other line. He needs to leave as soon as he can, no one can stop him. His management would understand if he needed time and his manager might get angry but he needs to clear his head right now.

As he lets his clothes fall to the suitcase, he pauses when he sees the polaroids of their different dates from before their individual debuts hidden in a box, tucked away in their closet. He hesitates before he flinches away, shaking his head hurriedly as he leaves it behind.

No use of bringing something that will only break his heart.

He takes the box out of the closet, hands shaking as he drops it on their bed. The contents spill out and the sight of the polaroids — their arms all over each other, laughter caught in the timeless photographs — leaves Beomgyu shaking as he sinks to his knees, catching his breath. It hurts. Everything hurts so much and he can't do anything to stop the pain running through his veins.

_What happened to us?_

He forces himself to go over to his belongings, shaky sighs constantly falling from his pair. He zips up his suitcase, making sure that he didn't forget anything that belongs to him. His eyes flicker over to the bedside drawer, feeling the lump in his throat as he stares down at his suitcase. He doesn't want Yeonjun to try and find him if he disappears out of the blue. With hands still trembling, he rips off a piece of paper from a notepad stacked inside the drawer, hastily scribbling out a short message.

Once he's finished, he takes a deep breath, slowly taking off the ring that's around his finger. The first gift that Yeonjun ever gave him, during their six months together.

"We're matching now!" Yeonjun proudly showed off his own silver promise ring, causing Beomgyu to burst into a fit of giggles. Yeonjun's smile was so achingly bright that day that it hurts Beomgyu — how can someone look absolutely breathtaking?

"Don't lose it, okay? One day," He took Beomgyu's hands in his own, fingers naturally intertwining as his thumb brushed along the silver ring resting on his lover's finger, "Once I earn more money, I'll buy you an even prettier ring."

"You know that I'm already fine with this—"

"Shh, I want to spoil you, okay?" Yeonjun held him close, their heartbeats falling in sync as Beomgyu tucked his face against the crook of his neck with a smile lingering on his lips.

"I want you to know how much I love you. Always and forever."

Beomgyu swallows thickly, tears prickling his eyes once more as he lays down the ring on top of the paper. It breaks his heart, that he has to leave him like this. Almost three years together and it's been broken into dust, unable to bring themselves to bring it back to what it was before.

He tugs on his suitcase, forcing him not to take another look around, forcing every bit of urge that stops him from leaving.

He needs this.

He needs to do this for himself.

* * *

Yeonjun.

A smile lingers on his lips as he sends the message to his boyfriend. It's been a while since he got around to text an update to Beomgyu but he knows that the younger boy always appreciates it whenever he tells him if there's a change in his schedule. With a sigh spilling from his lips, he lets his head rest against the mirrored wall, eyes flickering to the clock hanging at the other side of tbe studio.

He misses Beomgyu so much — he can't believe he allowed himself to dwell too much in his work. Beomgyu has always been there for him, even before his debut. Yeonjun once reached his breaking point, almost giving up because he was always stressed and exhausted. Beomgyu held him close that night, letting him fall apart in his arms as the dark haired boy comforted him. He never left his side that day, constantly providing the support and comfort that he needed.

Almost three years together and Beomgyu always stayed by his side. He wants him to know how grateful he is and that he loves him absolutely more than anything else in this world. He wouldn't be surprised if Beomgyu is really _the one_ for him — they fit together like puzzle pieces that are meant to be there for each other.

As he picks himself from the ground, his phone starts ringing without a break. He knits his eyebrows in worry as he walks over to his bag, taking out his phone. The screen keeps going off because of the amount of notifications he has, barely able to keep up with what's happening, until someone starts calling him. He doesn't delay in picking up the call, casually pressing it to his ear.

"What the fuck, Choi Yeonjun?!"

Yeonjun flinches, not knowing what to say as he gives a quick glance at his screen again. It's his manager but as far as he knew him, he very rarely cursed directly at Yeonjun — there must be some distressing news if he's acting this way.

"What happened, hyung?"

"Be honest with me, Yeonjun," His manager takes a deep breath, as if trying to calm down his nerves though the anger is hidden beneath his words, "Are you cheating on Beomgyu?"

"What?!" Yeonjun can't hide the surprise in his tone, his face scrunching up in disgust. He can't fathom the idea of cheating on his boyfriend ever — he adores him too much. They're always together whenever they're out in public, anyway. Why would anyone accuse him of doing it?

"Why would you ask me that? Of course not!"

A sigh of relief falls on the other line as Yeonjun imagines his manager becoming slowly relaxed though his tone of words remains firm, his anger directed at someone else this time. "Dispatch released a statement that you're cheating on him with Yeji. You were caught together in the club that you went to last night."

_No, no. Fuck, this can't be real._

"I'm talking to Beomgyu's manager right now. We'll sort this out, okay? Don't do anything stupid."

With that the line gets dropped and Yeonjun doesn't waste a second before he pulls up Naver, his stomach twisting as he scrolls through endless headlines and angry comments beneath the articles. The pictures that Dispatch managed to grab made him look like he's so close with Yeji, especially when they shared a friendly hug. It made him sick, how an innocent narrative became so twisted that the media accused of him cheating on his boyfriend.

His phone starts ringing again and he's surprised at the name written on his screen. He doesn't waste a second before he picks up the call, pressing it back to his ear.

"Oh my god, Yeonjun," Yeji's voice comes through and it sounds like she's been crying on the other line, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know this would happen."

"Hey, don't cry. It's not your fault, okay?" The anger towards the media is hidden beneath Yeonjun's words this time though he tries his best to sound calm and reassuring. They spent a few minutes with Yeonjun trying to calm her down whilst Yeji keeps on apologizing.

"I want you to know that I really respect your relationship with Beomgyu and I don't want you to get the idea that I'm overstepping my boundaries."

"Don't worry, I'll talk to Beomgyu, okay? This is only a misunderstanding and our companies will clear it up."

Yeji takes a deep breath, her sobs finally falling silent as her voice comes through, still etched with gratitude for the soloist. "Thank you, Yeonjun. Please tell Beomgyu that I'm sorry for what happened."

"Okay. Take care of yourself, all right?"

"You too."

The call gets dropped and the panic rises in Yeonjun's chest. If Beomgyu's manager knows about the news then that means that Beomgyu has checked the articles already. His heart races beneath his chest, eyes flickering down the headlines once more before he closes the website, quickly pulling up Beomgyu's number on the screen.

The first call ends up unanswered as its continuous ringing echoes within the studio. Yeonjun can feel the uneasiness dwell upon his bones, his breath coming out short and fast. The second call is still left unanswered, as well as the third one.

He loses count of how many calls that became unanswered, occasionally sending Beomgyu the text, _baby, please pick up. I can explain._

It might be the tenth time or the twentieth time but soon, the call doesn't even push through. Yeonjun's hands start shaking and without another thought, he pushes himself to stand, grabbing hold of his bag. He pulls on his cap to hide his features as he rushes of the studio, his heartbeats echoing in his ears.

_He didn't leave. He won't leave me._

Yeonjun repeats the words in his head, trying his hardest to hold onto it. _He promised me that he wouldn't leave me._ He can feel the tightness around his throat as he rushes into the street, watching as cars blur past him, putting a hand up to wave down a taxi. Soon, as the stars would have it, a taxi comes rolling in and Yeonjun slips inside, hurriedly giving the address to their apartment.

He continues to text him, calling him over and over again but each and every time, they never push through. His heart is going to break itself because of the rampage in his chest, a harsh pace of beating that leaves him breathless and shaking. The apartment building comes into sight and Yeonjun pays for the fare, dashing right out without any other thought than to look for his boyfriend.

His insides are twisting because of the nervousness and anxiety as he waits impatiently for the elevator to rise to their floor. There are so many thoughts circling around his head, stealing his breath away as he feels the urge to collapse, legs already on their way to giving out. His grip on the metallic railing is deathly, a sigh falling from his lips once the doors slip open.

Rushing out, his heartbeats resound so much louder, his throat getting tighter as he feels the tears sting at the corners of his eyes. His hands won't stop shaking, feeling like every step that he takes leave a gaping hole in his chest. His head is spinning as he stands in front of the door, punching in the code. The familiar click of the door sends a surge of emotions through his emotions as he steps inside.

_He didn't leave me._

Yeonjun blinks. Once, twice before he feels the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, blurring his line of vision. Everything looks the same but Yeonjun can't shake the uneasiness and anxiety that seemed to wrap around his bones, rendering him absolutely breathless.

_He didn't leave me._

He walks to the bedroom, footsteps soft and light as he reluctantly approaches the door. It takes everything in him not to collapse right then and there, his legs shaking as he stays still before it. His fingers are twitching as they tighten their hold around the door knob, gently twisting it before the door falls open.

_He didn't leave me._

The bedroom is empty, his throat closing up as he steps inside. "Gyu?" He says out loud though his voice is too weak, too soft. He's so exhausted but he can't rest, not when he can't find his boyfriend. He approaches the bed, eyes tearing up as he stares at the scattered polaroids laid out on the sheets. Some of them are crumpled at the corners but he can still see them — the sight of their smiling faces whenever they were out on a date.

 _No, no. This isn't happening._ He hurries to the closet, ripping the doors open. It's emptier than usual, forcing him to go over to the drawers, dragging each one out. All of them seem emptier than ever — his belongings are all that he could see. His hands are shaking so badly and he can't breathe, a sob ripping out of his throat as he sinks down onto the bed.

"This isn't real." Yeonjun murmurs to himself, fingers finally brushing along the wood of the bedside drawer. He stiffens, eyes catching sight of a note neatly tucked underneath the lamp, together with a ring right beside it. It feels like something punched him straight at his stomach, feeling himself grow weaker as he reluctantly takes the note, sitting back down on the bed so he can flip it open.

**_I'm sorry, I couldn't keep my promise to you. Thank you for loving me for the past two years. I love you._ **

_No._ Yeonjun takes a breath but it feels like he's running out of oxygen, his chest squeezing so tightly. A lump is stuck in his throat, making it hard for him to breath easily. His fingers are so near to ripping the note into shreds, wanting to bury the words underneath the ground so he couldn't read it anymore.

 _No, no, no. He made a_ _promise._ _He_ _promised_ _me_ _that_ _he would never break it._

He rises to his feet so fast that he feels momentarily dizzy. He rushes out of the bedroom, feet anxiously leading him to every room within the apartment. He calls out his name, ripping the doors open but no one ever responds to him.

The silence feels so much louder this time, pressing down on his body, robbing away his voice. All he could do is collapse right on couch, body completely trembling as he buries his face in his hands with a loud sob ripping out of his throat.

This wasn't supposed to happen. They're supposed to be together, falling asleep while holding each other. Kissing each other until they're breathless, smiles lingering on their lips. They're supposed to go out and celebrate three years together, keeping the same promise that they made the first time they shared a kiss.

But instead, Yeonjun sits there, curled up on the couch with tears stainjng his cheeks. He's all alone with only memories of his boyfriend buried deep within his chest.

This time, Beomgyu is the one who's never going to come home.

* * *

Beomgyu.

The break up was messy, as he expected. Though their own respective managements cleared up the rumors and called him up about his relationship with Yeonjun, he remained silent about the issue. The only thing he confirmed is that they're indeed broken up and the incident only tipped the scale on their fall out.

Yeonjun stopped calling him, stopped reaching out. The last time they saw each other was when they were called into a meeting months later, their companies discussing the impact of their destroyed relationship in terms of their image. Beomgyu couldn't meet Yeonjun's eyes, knowing that he would break once he sees how weak Yeonjun is.

Based on the most recent photos of him walking out of their apartment and the way they were seated in the conference room, Yeonjun evidently lost weight and he looked more exhausted than ever. He spent more time during the meeting, trying to catch Beomgyu's eyes but the younger male refused to gaze back at him, his own heart squeezing painfully tight within his ribcage.

Yeonjun stopped chasing after him once he realized that Beomgyu wouldn't give him another chance. That's finally the opportunity for Beomgyu to finally let go. The news of their failed relationship reached the media for months until the issue eventually died out as comebacks and dating scandals took over everything else about them.

He never wanted to talk to him, even when he knew that the cheating incident was nothing more than a rumor made by Dispatch. He realized that he couldn't handle their relationship anymore, couldn't hold on as much as he wanted to. Though his chest still feels heavy whenever he crosses paths with Yeonjun at music shows and interviews, he remains impassive about him.

That is, until they've collided into an empty playground one night.

Beomgyu had long since forgotten that playground near their old apartment but lately, he's been nothing but stressed about the pressure that the company is laying upon his shoulders. When he passed by it one night when he was on his way home, he paused completely and stared at the darkness ahead.

Still, he presses on, footsteps light as he takes a seat on the swing. He remembers spending days and nights with Yeonjun before in this very same place — the thought of him causes a surge of emotions deep inside of him.

It may have been a year since their break up but Yeonjun still lingers in his mind every now and then. He wonders if Yeonjun is seeing anyone new, if he's keeping himself healthy. He tends to forget about taking care of himself when he buries himself in his work so Beomgyu is there to take care of him.

Used to, at least.

He sits there, eyes fixated on the night sky and the way the stars emit a soft glow amidst the darkness. It's so serene, a longing break that he needed after such a stressful day today. He's thankful that he changed his routine and came upon this place once again.

"Gyu?"

He freezes in his seat, eyes flickering to where the voice came from. The stars must have orchestrated this very meeting — out of all the people, his ex-boyfriend stands near the playground, eyes wide. His hair is dyed back to black and the sight of him alone tugs on so many memories that he suppressed for the past year.

Yeonjun hesitates before he approaches him, gaze softening once he comes closer. He gestures to the empty swing right beside Beomgyu, eyes fixated on him only. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"Be my guest." He curves his lips into a sweet smile, eyes crinkling as he crosses the path in front of Beomgyu, taking the seat right beside him. The silence falls back against their bodies, so many words that are left to be uttered by the two of them.

What should he say? What should he say to the boy who won his heart four years ago and broke it eventually? What should he say to the boy whose heart is also in pieces because of him?

"You did amazing in your comeback, by the way. Congratulations."

Beomgyu heaves a sigh, sparing the black haired male with a small but genuine smile. "Thank you. Your new album is really great too."

"You listened to it?"

"Yeah," _You dedicated a song to me so how can I not listen to it?_ "I loved it."

The simple compliment from him earns a wide smile from Yeonjun, obviously pleased at the thought of Beomgyu listening to him, even when their past was painful. The silence lays itself upon them like a blanket once again, memories of them spending their time here causes a trail of nostalgia deep within Beomgyu's chest. He lightly pushes himself, sneakers hitting the ground with a distinct sound.

"I miss you, Gyu." Yeonjun speaks once more though he's not looking at him — he's staring straight ahead with a saddened look drawn upon his features. Beomgyu pauses in his movements, letting the swing fall back to its immobile state as he stares at the older male. Yeonjun finally meets his gaze and there's a tinge of sadness and longingness hidden in his dark eyes.

"I know we fell apart but I never stopped thinking of you. I constantly miss you and it hurts." He takes a deep breath, as if to calm his nerves before he speaks again but in a softer voice, "I'm sorry I broke your heart."

Beomgyu stares at him for a long stretch of time until he finds his voice, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. It hurts just the same as before.

"I'm sorry for breaking your heart too."

Yeonjun spares him a saddened smile, his features catching the soft glow of the streetlight near them. It illuminates him and the sight of him like this — longing for something that they could never run back to makes Beomgyu weak at the knees.

He misses him just as much. But he can't.

_Never again._

"Thank you for loving me for the past years," Yeonjun stands from his seat, approaching him until he's right in front of him. He sinks to his eye level, a tender smile spreading across his lips as he stares at Beomgyu with the same kind of love and adoration that he used to have before.

"You made me really, really happy."

Beomgyu breaks at that, a sob falling from his lips as he catches his breath. He hurriedly wipes his tears as he holds onto the chains, staring back at Yeonjun with teary eyes, unable to hide his emotions anymore.

"You made me so happy too."

Yeonjun seems taken aback at that, triggering the emotions that he long since buried since their break up. He lets out a shaky breath, blinking rapidly to clear his vision as a soft whimper leaves his lips, moving forward until they both can feel the warmth of their bodies.

"I'll never regret us." Yeonjun murmurs as he leans in, lips softly brushing against Beomgyu's forehead. The kiss is so soft, so gentle that Beomgyu couldn't help but break down even more, sobbing against Yeonjun's chest as the older boy holds him close, quietly calming him down.

They held on for as long as they can, savoring the feeling of adoration that they have for each other. This may be the last time that they can do this, without any worries or doubts. Without any more regrets lingering within them.

Yeonjun breaks away, standing up with tears still in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, stepping away with a sad smile drawn across his features. Beomgyu still thinks that he looks ethereal, so achingly beautiful.

"I'll see you, Gyu."

He stares at him for a moment, as if trying to keep in his mind how this night has gone by before he spins on his heel. Without looking back, he walks away, taking Beomgyu's heart with him all over again.

He leaves Beomgyu with a love that they can never come back to.

"I'll see you, hyung."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/yeomgyus)


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